Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Course Catalog: Classical Composition

Description: This is a course on classical music composition that will teach the principles of melody, harmony, and orchestration.  However, this course does not teach you to form you musical ideas.  That comes from your talent.  If you don't have it, you can become an orchestrator.  The distinguished alumni of this course usually breaks with the principle we teach them and write great music nevertheless.  (Shostakovich, Debussy)

Course Credit: None

Pre-Requisites: No technical pre-requisite.  However, one should try to live a life of calamity, solitude, and mental instability through the achievement of at least one of the following:

  1. Unfulfilling / unrequited love for a string of women who are outside of your social class, for example members of the aristocracy or the royals.  See Beethoven.
  2. If you are homosexual, the unfortunate need to oppress your orientation due to social pressures of your society.  See Tchaikovsky.
  3. Have a high infant mortality rate.  See Bach.
  4. Losing of either vision or hearing.  (See Beethoven or Rodrigo)
  5. Live under a repressive Communist dictatorship (Shostakovich)
  6. Lastly, having your wife engaging in an affair with one of your best friend.  (Schumann)

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